Yes, there is such a thing as a divorce party. They are quite the trend these days…even if it’s causing one or two of your eyebrows to raise.
Although it may seem unusual to celebrate the end of a marriage, most cultures honor important life events such as birthdays, graduations, and even funerals in the form of a wake. It may not be so strange to look back on your marriage and find closure for yourself.
Yet, this approach may not be for everyone. Instead, you may want to consider a New beginnings Party. Before you decide, consider some pros and cons.
Do you want a Divorce party or New Beginnings party?
There are no fixed rules on what a divorce party to celebrate should look like. It depends on the parties involved (pardon the pun) and how “ friendly” or “messy” the divorce ended up being. In some cases, exes can organize an event together to show their family and friends that they don’t have to choose sides and that both are ready to move forward amicably. In others, one ex may celebrate finally getting rid of the other.
When it comes to parties, we’ve seen examples of small and ostentatious parties, where party planners create lavish affairs with large guest lists that rival some weddings. Some parties even have a gift registry. True! And they can include everything from self-care gifts to household items that need to be settled after the property is divided in a divorce.
Of course, there aren’t many good things about divorce, but there is more to divorce than you think which can lead to closure and managing the loss of the relationship better, including:
- Highlighting the good memories;
- Focusing on the positives: a fresh start;
- Feeling supported by friends and family;
- Celebrating that you went through the divorce process and made it!
If you plan to use the party as revenge for the divorce or your ex-spouse…disadvantages include:
- Being left in the middle of friends, family, and especially children;
- Adding stress or sadness to children as they struggle to accept the new life;
- It can be expensive, which you may not need i.e. legal costs;
- This can trigger feelings you haven’t fully dealt with.
What starts as fun can go too far in the moment (trashing your ex, making fun of your ex, burning sentimental things, etc.) leaving you feeling regretful and embarrassed afterward. Remember – in divorce, keep it classy!
If you decide to throw a divorce or new beginnings party for yourself or someone else: first, make sure the divorce is final. Make sure there’s healing from the grief of the marriage lost. Keep the guest list to those who understand. Create a supportive and fun atmosphere that will leave a lasting impression, as well as good memories for you to let go of the past and look to the future.
6 Party planning tips
It’s not just about you
Before you go crazy and start planning the party of the year, think about who’s coming. You might want to get on with your new single life, but your kids might still be dealing with your breakup and not too happy about it. Also, consider your ex-partner. If they are aware of the party, it might feel like a “slap in the face” and bothering them will not help your future parenting relationship.
What type of party
Parties come in all shapes and sizes. Many people go for themes, favors, cakes, and games. Some even have rituals like burning wedding dresses! But a few cocktails at a local bar, dinner out, or even a backyard barbecue might suit you better. Organizing a party requires a lot of work. Do you want to wear this? And if you do, be sure to use good friends. Remember that parties are supposed to be fun, so make sure you can relax and enjoy your party.
See how you feel
A family breakup is an emotional roller coaster, and the twists and turns may surprise you. It is very common for people to long for the divorce process to be over so they can move on with their new lives. But when those divorce papers arrive, it can hit harder than you thought, and the last thing you want to do is celebrate. It is very important to take care of yourself emotionally after a breakup. Let the dust settle, see how you feel and how your kids are doing, then make your party plans. Perhaps you will feel a different way to celebrate.
Who to invite
Getting the guest list right is essential for all parties, but especially for divorce or new beginnings parties. This is an opportunity to heal and thank the people who helped you during a difficult period in your life. Remember that these parties are still newish and not everyone agrees with it. Do not invite these people! Other people may be going through difficult times in their relationships and celebrating the end of a marriage could prove difficult. Invite people who support you, understand you, and celebrate you and with you.
What comes next? If you’ve been nervous about planning a party, you might feel overwhelmed now that the last guests have left and you’re facing your new single life. And we all know that kids and hangovers don’t mix! Plan what happens after the party. Yes, it was closure, but closure brings new beginnings. What are yours? This is the first day of your new life and you have the power to live it however you want. Think beyond the party and think about the future.
Do something symbolic
A party need not include loud music, dancing or alcohol. Instead, you can mark the occasion with a more symbolic act. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do when you were married but never got around to it or your ex didn’t approve? Well, do it now! Skydiving or spa day. Or take the kids and take a vacation or weekend. Getting your kids involved helps them understand that yes, things will change, but you’ve got this and you’re going to be okay.
Also remember the most important thing, this is a party and you should enjoy it. If you are not ready to celebrate, if you prefer to have a coffee with your bestie or maybe a girls to cry your eyes out and then watch a bad TV movie, that’s completely fine! You need to move on when you are ready and don’t feel pressured to do it if you are not ready (or don’t even want to).