If you’re spending your first New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day alone after a separation or divorce, you may have a whole lot of emotions which may include loneliness, anxiety, sadness, lost, frustrated…
There are so many expectations around celebrating the festive season, especially New Year’s Eve. Grand firework displays, back yard fireworks, parties, lots of food and especially lots of booze and many September babies the following year!
I am here to share with you that despite the aloneness or loneliness that you may be feeling, there may be ways to give yourself some love, to entertain yourself and if you are with a child or children, way you can may a time you will all remember together.
Here are 3 ideas that will help you create your very own NYE and NY Day…
First things first:
This is what New Year’s Eve entails over NYE: food, drink, fireworks, people, entertainment, special dress, hairdressers, nails, music, dancing, celebrating, watch people celebrate, go wish neighbours Happy New Year, call family and friends and wish them Happy New Year, go to the pub, go to Church or house of worship, watch a great show on TV, buy special treats for the child/children, dog or cat or both and gorge yourself on all sort of deserts through those days (as if we didn’t do enough of that over the Christmas days…).
Some might even simply want an early night so that for once, have a blissful night’s sleep and not wake up feeling shattered the next morning, start the year feeling refreshed.
The first thing you’ll notice in the list above, is that you can do all of these things alone or with your children.
Idea 1: Food
Make yourself your special meal – not the in-laws, not your ex’s – yours! Have exactly what you enjoy eating or your favourite meal. Even if it is junk food. If you don’t want to or cannot make it or can’t be bothered to make it, then order the food in. The meal does not need to be complex or take hours to make – it simply needs to be tasty and that you love it.
In fact, you can make a sandwich or a poached egg look elegant and posh with the right garnish or decoration. Or ask the kids to decorate the food the way they want…you’d be surprised how much fun you can have doing this…
My daughter’s favourite was to make a face with mash potatoes, use grated carrots for hair, ketchup for lips etc. I tend to add bling, candles and flowers and it makes even a boiled egg look tasty and elaborate on a dinner table.
Treat yourself to a yummy breakfast on New Year’s Day. If your idea of breakfast is only dessert, then dessert your way through breakfast…after all, you deserve this!
If you are up to having guests, have a couple of friends over. If you don’t want to have the pressure of cooking – make it a potluck or “bring-a-dish” party to share, same with drinks. If you’d rather not entertain at home, perhaps you’d like to plan for a picnic if you live in the Southern hemisphere or a BBQ.
Cold or hot weather, try some fun board games, look at old photos of you and people you may know (perhaps not you ex’s), watch a fun movie or simply enjoy each other’s company until the fireworks.
If you are alone and want to be alone, then treat yourself to a lovely meal, if you can go for a walk or look outside your window at midnight and feel the new year starting and make a few wishes for yourself. Even if you are in real pain from your break-up, use other people’s laughter and happiness to fuel yours…and know that you have been happy and sad, you will be happy again.
Create a vision board
As you propel yourself into the new year, how about creating a vision board? While you may or may not believe in it, if you’ve ever made a wish for yourself, then you have in a way made yourself a mental vision board. You do this for you and if you have children, you can all do your own vision boards. Or even create one for your new family unit.
A vision board need should not be expensive and you don’t need to be good at drawing or art. Why? Because you cut out photos from magazines, words from newspapers, cereal boxes etc. A vision board is a collection of images, words, photos which serves as a visual motivation to what you would like to see happen in your future.
This can be practical, a future dream or an aspiration. For example, you may be wishing to get a promotion or a pay increase, so that that you can start saving for a deposit for a house, a longed-for holiday or visit to a particular place or a car. If you don’t find the photo/picture that describes what you want then write it, or look for the word in a paper/magazine or a symbol.
The fun part is that once you and your kids focus on the vision board when preparing it, when you put your imagination and your feelings to it, you’ll notice that you go to it regularly. Also, you need to keep nourishing your vision board with love and expectation. It serves as a reminder of your wishes. The thing about the vision board is that it is alive. As things start to come true, you remove it with love and gratitude and then add something else.
The vision lives within you, comes from you and your life, your feelings and your desires. Making one and waiting for your wishes to come true just like that will not work. For example: if you would like a promotion or a better job, to make more money and then save for a new home. You do need to let your boss know this, you do need to look for the job, you do need to let people know you’d like a better job. Even if out of the blue you are offered a promotion without looking for it, asking for it etc. you do need to save the money.
It is all about asking for what you want and for universe to ensure that you get there on the fastest route, while teaching you lessons along the way.
Getting through the first New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day can be painful, lonely and damn right sad! For others it could feel like a breath of fresh air that for once, there is no obligation and you get to do exactly what you want, the way you want and please yourself.
Whatever the case may be, there is opportunity to re-create, to look beyond and breath new life and love into yourself. This time though, you will provide the new life and the new love to yourself. Loving yourself this New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day will be the best gift you could give and receive…